Parents involved in child custody disputes often have strong opinions about where their child should live and how much visitation time the other parent should get. Sometimes a child has strong opinions as well. The question then becomes: how heavily do the child’s wishes affect the custody award?

New Jersey law requires judges to consider the preferences of a child who is old enough and of sufficient mental and emotional capacity to express intelligent reasons. In practice, judges do not give much weight to the preferences of children under age 8. More consideration is given progressively for children of ages 8 to 16 or 17. Once a child turns 18, they have the right to decide for themselves which parent they want to live with.

There are different ways that children can express their preferences to the judge. The manner chosen depends on the child’s age, the family’s situation and other circumstances. The judge might do any of the following:

• Appoint a guardian ad litem — This is a court official who offers the judge guidance on custody arrangements. The guardian speaks with the child, parents, teachers and others and then makes recommendations to the judge.
• Interview the child — Judges may bring the child into their chambers for a private interview where the child can express their desires.
• Hear the child’s testimony — It is possible for children to testify in court about their preferences. However, this rarely happens because it can be emotionally difficult for a child say things about their parents in a court setting. Judges do not want to put such stress on children.
• Consider statements from third parties — Judges can gather written statements or testimony from teachers, coaches and others involved in the child’s life, to whom the child may have expressed information about their home situation.

The child’s preference is just one of 14 factors judges are required to analyze when deciding custody. The goal is to arrive at a child custody arrangement that is in the best interests of the child, with the presumption that both parents should be involved in the child’s life unless there is a problem like substance abuse or domestic violence.

In summary, a child’s expression of a preference as to which parent they want to live with is highly relevant but not controlling. It is the job of an experienced family law attorney to make sure the court understands your position as a parent and has the complete information needed to make a wise decision.

At the Martone Law Group, LLC in Haddon Heights, New Jersey, I help parents in Burlington and Camden counties resolve custody and visitation cases. Please call 856-432-4587 or contact me online if you would like to arrange a free initial consultation.