Putting Your Children First During Divorce Proceedings – NOT After

Emotions get the best of everyone during a divorce. Divorce is a significant change in a family dynamic that impacts families both emotionally and financially.  Although, parents struggle through divorce themselves, barely keeping their own heads above, water, it is important to  recognize the needs of the children during the divorce proceedings equally if not more than their post divorce needs.  Not the children’s needs after the divorce rather their needs during the divorce which left unmet can have catastrophic results.  Children require support, understanding and attention to their needs during the divorce just as much as they require their future to be considered.  The divorce process and emotions involved can make it difficult for  parents to fulfill that role for their children without attention and focus to it.  Parents are human.  Initially, most parents begin the divorce process with a focus on their children . However, once money and the uncertainty of their future comes to the forefront, children are then left to sit in their own feelings without the resources and support needed to explore them in a healthy way

It is difficult to put on a brave face for the kids during divorce proceedings when so much of your life is unresolved or seems without prediction. It can seem impossible to enjoy your time with your children when you are consumed with worry about what the future holds for your family unit.  But in the end, children require their parents support and need to be assured during this process emotionally or the backlash can be devastating on their future and emotional well-being.

While there is no one solution to the problems and difficulties faced by parenting children in the face of the divorce,here are certain tips to help you control the impact on your child(ren) during these emotional times:

  1. Don’t say mean things about the other parent in front of your children and let them love both of you without guilt. They are not your cheerleaders.
  2. Never make your children pick or chose who they want to spend time with and don’t make them feel guilty if they choose the other parent.
  3. Do not discuss the financial aspects of divorce or anything for that matter in front of the children.
  4. Get a therapist to help you address your emotions and issues with the divorce – do not use your children.
  5. Enjoy yourself and your children when you are with them.

If you are going through a divorce, it is incredibly important that you have an attorney that is not only experienced and knowledgeable as to the financial issues involved in the divorce process, but also one that you can trust to keep you focused on your most prized possession – your child(ren). The experienced attorneys at the Martone Law Group take pride in our ability to provide both invaluable resources to our clients and their families during these difficult times.